[GN 49] Figuring out “What's The Plan”

Turns Out It is Easier to Ask the Questions than to Answer Them

Photo by ROMAN ODINTSOV: https://www.pexels.com

There is a standing joke at our house, I am constantly asking “What’s the Plan”. I have asked it so often, as soon as I say it there is an audible groan. This groan is the sound of exasperation, combined with a sense of frustration since they will now have to explain to me their plan. The next comment from them usually goes something like, “Oh Dad, come on, you know what I am planning to do, we have been over already”, said with a high degree of frustration, a bit of annoyance and a sense of impatience. This is where the dance begins, me asking the questions and waiting for a response, which they may or may not have an answer that satisfies me. On and on the questions continue, and at some point, usually around five questions in, I see that moment where I have asked something that they had not thought of. This is the moment I have been trying to get to, that point in which their plan has a missing link that they hadn’t considered. This was my plan all along, get them to think through all the parts of the evening, and if they were annoyed along the way, that is just a happy accident. 

Take last weekend as an example, one of the kids was coming home for fall break and was talking about a wide range of things they wanted to accomplish in the few days they had. There were visits with grandparents, an evening spent with the family, trips to see friends, laundry to get done, some school work to complete and several friends to go see. Could it be all done? This is when I simply asked “What’s the Plan?”.

Turns out it is way easier being the one asking the questions, than the one trying to answer the questions. I have found myself using my own words against me, as I am now asking myself, “What's the Plan”?

I have reached that stage in my career, where I have more days behind me than I do ahead of me and although the end of the formal career is not immediately imminent, it gets closer with each day. I know there will be that day, where it will all end and it will be time to walk away, closing the book on one chapter and turning the page to what is next. My problem is the next page is practically blank, a few notes here and there scribbled down on what I might want to do, it would be a stretch at this point to even call it an outline. So here I am talking to my kids asking a bunch of questions about their fall break at home which lasts a few days and I don’t even have an outline, let alone a plan that could survive “what’s the plan” type of questions. In my defense it is tough to create a plan that hopefully will span the same amount of time as my career did. 

The question that looms very large and seems almost insurmountable is, how do you completely change the orientation of your life? Everything that anchored your life, where you went to work, how long you stayed everyday, what you worked on, who it helped, the impact you made, the people you mentored, the celebrations of accomplishments and the frustrations of things not accomplished, all stop and they all stop within a day. 

The day will come when I will walk into the office for the very last time. There will be congratulations and words about your career will be said, highlighting all the different things you have done and the memories created, but at the end of the day it will still be me getting in my car alone to leave, wondering what tomorrow and the next series of tomorrows will bring. 

I will be literally walking away from something that defined me for my entire career, from that very first exciting day, through all those days throughout the years in the middle, to this final day. It will leave me with two emotions - thank goodness it is finally over and oh crap now what.

When I am asking my kids questions - Where are you going now, Will you be back for dinner tonight, or What friends are you visiting and while they are pretty easy answers for them but it also makes them think through how am I getting from one place to another and do I have enough time for all the stops to have a worthwhile visit? In a lot of cases, going from place to place is planned, but having enough time to visit and catch up is not considered, score one for the three word question when they realize they hadn’t factored in the time they wanted to spend with the people.

Unfortunately for me, all the experience asking others “what's the plan”, doesn’t provide me with any simple and quick answers for my plan. There are a lot of ‘ideas’ or ‘looking into’ categories on the what’s next page, but that is all there is - thoughts of what could be. I have had a lot of interests over my life, there was a time where model railroading was an interest, then there was home improvement, auto repair, playing the piano, and a wide range of new techniques and technologies for work. These interests have ebbed and flowed over the years, often staring out as a strong passion and then they slowly wither away over time. I have realized I have lots of interests, but they are all loosely held, so nothing really sticks too long. 

There are a few exceptions and these may hold some insight as to what else I capture on my “what’s the plan” page - sailing is one, and the words legacy, mission, service and impact. These at least have been constant throughout my life. 

Sailing has been an interest of mine for the last twenty years, ever since I went for my first sail on the Thames river in that 12’ racing dingy I was hooked. Sailing has survived moves across the country from ocean sailing to local lake sailing, from racing sailboats, to simply getting the sailboat out of the slip several times a year. I have sailed on others boats, sailed on my own boat and have spend years not being on any sailboat, but yet there is the draw of wanting to feel the moment when the sails fill and the sound of the snap they make when the catch the wind, the heeling the boat does and the finally the sound of the water lapping against the hull. There is no doubt sailing needs to be on the page, I just need to figure out how sailing fits into the plan.

Legacy, Mission, Service and Impact -  These are the words that continuously come to the forefront when I think about “what’s the plan”.  As I look back over those moments and activities that are the most cherished and memorable - they all included these words. This is another huge sign for me, seek out those things that have these elements as part of what you are doing. I know from years of experience, if I have a choice I would much rather go help someone else than stay at home and work on something for myself. This also should be one of those giant signs for me - helping others. 

Mission is one of those words I have found makes a huge difference to me. I need to find opportunities that are working to fulfill a mission and make an impact. I don’t know where or who this might be helping, I just know there will need to be a mission in service to others. As others around me have found opportunities that have a strong mission, are making a meaningful impact and doing it in service to others, I am often a bit jealous. I can see the spark in their eyes, the passion in their voices and the sense of urgency to get things done, I want to find that as well. 

In addition to a sense of mission in service to others, it also needs to ‘fit’. This is a bit hard to explain, but I need to feel a part of the organization. Anyone can put in hours as a volunteer, I need more. I need to feel I am a part of delivering the mission of the organization, I am part of the team and I need to be inspired.

I have volunteered for lots of different things over the years, making an impact, and helping to solve a problem, but I never thought of myself as part of the team, there was no ‘fit’ - until Living Lands and Waters. This was different, I was personally invited by someone I had just met from the organization to come out and help clean up our local river. I expected I would show up, do some work and make a bit of impact, what I didn’t expect was the ‘fit’. This changed everything, not only was I welcomed in as a volunteer, they brought me in to be part of their team. Ever since that day I have been trying to figure out how to do more for the organization and the people on the team. When I can combine - Legacy, Mission, Service, Impact and ‘Fit’ - Magic happens. This is one group of people that has already made the “What’s the Plan” page, I just need to figure out how I can do more for them.

Just as I help my kids get to the ‘Ah-Ha’ moment by continually asking about “What’s the Plan”, I am realizing I am also getting to my own “Ah-Ha’ moment - realizing what is important to me, and the way I need to feel.  But it just feels like there is more that could be accomplished, more people that could be helped by what I have learned and problems I have solved over the years.

So as I take stock of what I have accomplished over a lifetime of working for large corporations, I find myself wondering - what if any part of that experience and expertise would I want to pursue further. After a career in R&D that spans a wide range of roles, responsibilities and technologies, I have seen a lot, learned a lot and could reapply a lot. The questions of course are who would I help, would they find what I have to offer useful and how do I find them? I just can’t stop thinking that there has to be an opportunity out there where my skills and experience would be a great fit. What is the point of thirty plus years of learning if it can’t be used to help someone else. 

I simply keep coming back to the keyworks, Legacy, Mission, Service, Impact, ‘Fit’, and Inspired. These will be how I judge new opportunities. I may not be able to foresee when, where or who I will be working with, but I certainly know how it will need to make me feel.  Here is what I can envision it might look like. I would be helping a small community of people pursue a dream they have which impacts a lot of people through a mission of service to others. I am sure it is out there, I simply haven’t bumped into it - yet. 

As I am writing this, I have realized I can answer more of the “What’s the Plan” questions if I was asked. So just like when I am asking my kids “What’s the Plan” to get them to understand - have they made the right decisions on how they will spend their time, have they planned how to get from A to B, have there been any Ah-Ha’s that will make them change their plans and when they look back on their fall break will they have spent it in a way that will create cherished memories. Although there isn’t a complete “What’s the Plan” for me, I am able to answer more questions than I thought I could. I know there has to be a ‘fit’, I have to be inspired, and it has to make an impact on others.

I know the fog won’t lift instantly on this problem and it will likely be revealed slowly, (much slower than I would prefer) but as I continue to create the outline of the plan the better I am able to decide what is in and what is out. 

This is my next challenge - figuring out where to help, who to help, where it will make a difference. I need to find that ‘thing’ that will be something that I can commit my time to, that inspires me, creates an impact and feeds my soul.